Status Update: 1/7/13

January 8, 2014

Part of it might be that there’s enough content on here that I don’t feel quite as strong a need to ensure that I’m putting up something new every single day; part of it might be that there’s been nothing this last week that I’ve been dying to share; but the unusually low level of activity on the site this last week definitely doesn’t have anything to do with a creative rut, a lack of output or anything like that.

Here’s what I’ve been up to:

I mentioned a couple weeks ago that I got my hands on a canvas that’s more than twice the size of any other I’ve ever gotten to work with. So far I’ve put 22 hours into it and I’m really happy with how it’s coming along. I’d like to say that it’s mostly done but I still have so much little detail left that [you never know] things could take a dramatically different sort of direction and it might not end up anything like the painting that it is at this moment. And actually – I take back what I said – I’m DEFINITELY dying to share this painting (just not until it’s ready!)

I’ve also been spending a fair amount of time trying to get my artwork into some new galleries, businesses, and other spaces. It’s gone well so far and I’m hoping to pick up even more new locations soon. I’ll share more specific details about that stuff later in the week.

On a different sort of note, I took the first part of my motorcycle training course today and will finish tomorrow. As soon as I can get down to Sarasota (this or next weekend probably) I’ll swap out my little 50cc thrashBike for a 150cc. Which might not seem like anything that has tremendous artistic implications but is really exciting because it’s going to enable me to travel outside of Jacksonville (on my own) and get shows set up in other cities.

On top of all that, there are a couple other developments I’m really excited about but can’t quite talk about yet. Long story short though, things are going really well and only seem to be getting better. I’m thinking I’ll make time to resume with regular art/blog updates tomorrow. In the meantime…

Cotton Candy Skies [photo]I wouldn’t have even noticed the sky the other night (had Heather not commented on it). Within one second of looking up though, I was reaching in my pocket for my phone. I’m (obviously) not a photographer and I don’t usually take pictures of anything like this but it was just too perfect. Not because it’s beautiful (though it is) but because it reminded me of something else  that’s beautiful.

Last month, Rumspringer made a video for their song, “Love Poem to Irrigation.” It’s off their sophomore full-length, Stay Afloat, which came out last year on LP through Dirt Cult Records. (It’s also available on CD or as a digital download).

Though it wasn’t the first record I had lined up for Traffic Street, Rumspringer’s debut EP was the first release in my catalog to see the light of day. It makes me really happy that they’re not only still playing but that they continue to get better.

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This photo was taken from right outside my house so those shoes on the power line are (of course) my own. Well – not originally. Back when I still lived at Tranquil Shores, I got ’em from a friend  after my own Frankenshoes finally gave out

frankenshoe
My last valiant effort to repair my own shoes.
troy's shoes
The crappy painting I did on the shoes I got from Troy which (for the last six months or so) have lived up on the power lines.

The shoes were painted the same day as my Suicide Jacket.

"Suicide Jacket." 2/18/13. Acrylic paint on my winter coat. 15x24".
Can you tell which one I put more effort into?

 

What more could an idiot ask for?

January 3, 2014

6 AM. Walking home.
It’s 40 degrees outside and I still haven’t gone to bed.
Pineapple soda, a cigarette,
BRAND NEW RATIONAL ANTHEM playing in my headphones.

What more could an idiot ask for?

—–

I stayed up all night, clearing out my house,
Getting rid of the things in my life that I don’t need.
Some of it is really hard to get rid of.
I still don’t know if I’ll actually be able to part with my zine collection.
And (honestly) I haven’t even considered the records.
But I’m young, itinerant,
I’d rather not be weighed down by possessions.

Do you ever fantasize about your house burning down
And starting over with nothing?
I do.
I’m working to be okay with the idea that if something is important
It’ll come back to me.
I don’t need to cling to anything.
Or only to so much, in any case.

—–

Here’s a cartoon I drew in an Alcoholics Anonymous.
It was the second of three that night.
The third being My Favorite Cartoon.
This one’s not important.
It’s just about me,
Being a resentful little jerk-off.

"Broken Records." 1/15/13. Pen on scrap. 5x3½".
“Broken Records.” 1/15/13. Pen on scrap. 5×3½”.

There’s no way for me to explain what I was thinking when I drew this without sounding like an asshole. Which is okay – after all – sometimes I’m an asshole!

This kid was rambling on and every word out of his mouth reeked of “here’s some shit I heard some other clueless bastard say at a meeting, so now I’m gonna repeat it at all of you so that I can walk back to my halfway house confident that you guys will think I’ve really got a handle on this recovery thing.”

Which – who knows – maybe that’s me projecting. Or maybe it’s just me being bitter about some girl not paying enough attention to me. And – honestly – what the fuck should I even care? I guess it’s easy to fall into this kind of judgmental/negative thought when you’re compelled to go to more meetings than you’d otherwise elect to on your own. I might have needed that many at one point early on (or I might not have) but by this time last year, I was definitely ready to move on to the next phase. And within a month I had done just that.

Cool!

—–

Some (more recent) pieces on the subject of twelve-step groups are Save Yourself and Snowflakes Anonymous.

1/2/14

January 2, 2014

I write the best eBay listings.

 

(I got experience).

1/1/14

January 1, 2014

I’m outside smoking a cigarette because just standing in that house, my pulse has been racing so fast for so long that I feel like I could collapse and fucking die. I’m acknowledging this moment so that I REMEMBER the feeling should I try to reconsider. I haven’t gotten so much as a “sorry.” If she comes out here and smokes a cigarette next to me silently, I think I’ll pack my shit up right fucking now and be out of town by tomorrow.

Dog Food Doesn’t Grow on Trees

December 27, 2013

"Dog Food Doesn't Grow on Trees." 12/8/12. Colored pencil. 3x2".
“Dog Food Doesn’t Grow on Trees.” 12/8/12. Colored pencil. 3×2″.

This cartoon (about giving up on the things you’re supposed to care about) was my third (and final) piece on 12/8/12 – the first day ever that I did virtually nothing but draw and paint. (The first two were Why I Fail and Group Therapy).

This is one of the few pieces that I just flat out lost somewhere along the way. Not too shocking when you consider that it only measured three inches and that – just eight months ago – my art was nothing more than a heap of paper scraps, ripped cardboard, and a few pieces of loose canvas (all of which I carried around in grocery bags).

I made two new pieces today but I can’t share ’em ’cause I’m an asshole and they’ve got the kinda raw poison in them that I shouldn’t ever let out of my brain and onto paper. Or one of ’em does anyway… Shit – it’s not even that bad but it would hurt the fuck out of my feelings if someone had a similar thought about me, so…

Here’s a really beautiful song that’s usually pretty good at fortifying my resolve and, other times, makes me wanna break down and cry.

With a pain that cuts me like a knife, I wanna know you won’t be hard to find. I wish that I could call you right now and tell you that I’m around. I wish you would’ve called me that night and told me you hurt inside.
Please don’t stop living. – from “Upside Down” by Shorebirds.

 

Winter Colors

December 24, 2013

I could describe my day in a way that’d sound horribly tragic and it’d be totally true. Shit – I could frame my entire life in such a way that it’d sound really awful…

But… as much as I feel like a crybaby in this moment – as stressed as I am right now – I know that the other truth – the one in which my life is awesome and I’ve got nothing but good things to be grateful for… it’s a better story and it’s better for me. And like I said, it’s totally true.

So – with an eye toward focusing on the positive – check out how happy this kid is….

roberts-painting

 

And that’s from just earlier today!

I posted that photo on Instagram a little bit ago with the caption: “The (former) police officer and the KING OF THE SUPER PUNKS had a few disagreements when they first met last January. But *today* Robert bought a painting from his friend, Sam, who happily posed for a photo before he parted ways with the piece, less than 48 hours after its completion.” That was after Robert had posted it on Facebook with the caption: “I am now the proud owner of an original Sammy ThrashLife canvas! He is an intelligent (went to law school) and talented artist I’ve had the pleasure to get to know; he creates edgy works via stream of consciousness and drawing upon his emotions at the time.”

And all of that’s really awesome. It means a whole, whole lot to me. This little art thing I do… it’s my life. It’s saved my life. It’s brought people into my life. It’s made me a better person. It’s made it all worthwhile.

It’s what I do when I’m feeling down – to pull me out of that and get me back to a better place… it takes me places I never used to go.

Here’s one of my very first pieces, from November of last year; I made it one night when I was feeling especially depressed and suddenly (well, by the time I finished it HOURS after I started) I wasn’t depressed anymore.

"Winter Colors." 11/26/12. Sharpie, colored paper, kids paint, pencil, hair dye, and glue. 12x18".
“Winter Colors.” 11/26/12. Sharpie, colored paper, kids paint, pencil, hair dye, and glue. 12×18″.

In the past, when I’d felt as I did that night, it was an occasion to do way too much heroin. A few times in an attempt to fatally overdose, other times to just not have to exist for a little while. But – you know – I was in rehab so it seemed like the thing to do would be to maybe just create that image. It’s a mixed media collage – can you see the little cartoon syringe that I drew and glued onto my arm? The caption says, “Is blue a good color on me?”

Here’s a song I like a lot.

“Rejoice despite the fact this world will hurt you. Rejoice despite the fact this world will kill you. Rejoice despite the fact this world will tear you to shreds. Rejoice because you’re trying your best.” – Andrew Jackson Jihad

—–

Numbered, signed, and sealed 12×18″ prints of Winter Colors are available in my webstore.

If you’re interested in the original piece, please get in touch.

2013

December 17, 2013

I was looking at my “year in review” according to Facebook. It was pretty cool but I’m not sure it totally captured 2013’s significance for me.

—–

warhol parody campbell's soupLast year, 2012: In August, I began treatment at Tranquil Shores, which included expressive art therapy. In October, I realized that I enjoyed art. In December, I accepted that I was “a fucking artist” (sort of).

2013

In January, I met Heather.

"4-Hydroxybutanoic Acid Talent Show." 2/16/13. Acrylics on cardboard. 18x28".

In February, I completed my inpatient treatment plan at Tranquil Shores and moved back into the outside world.

"Court Dating." 4/15/13. Colored pencil, watercolor, marker, and pen. 9x12".

 

In March, I decided I wanted to make a serious attempt at finding a way to be a full-time artist without compromising exactly what I wanted to do and create. I sold art at street fairs and launched my first webstore.

In April, I began making and selling prints of my artwork.

"Muggle Problems." 5/20/13. Pencil, watercolor, and pen. 16x20".

In May, I launched a successful online campaign to determine if my plans were at all realistic and raised the resources necessary to dedicate myself to art / writing full-time.

In June, I auditioned for a movie, got the part, and then moved to Jacksonville with Heather, into my own home for the first time in more than two years.

"Smoke All the Cigarettes." 3/16/13 + 5/3/13. T-shirt.

 

In July, I filmed the movie and launched samnorth.art – through which I’ve shared my artwork and writing every day since.

Still Sick (The Illest) [image]

In August, I went on tour with Rational Anthem and reconnected with the punk scene I’d disappeared from.

In September, I finally settled/stay put in Jacksonville for a minute and made (what I feel were) important strides in the development of my style and technique as an artist. I also developed a new system for (profitably) packaging and selling art prints and statements.

Dear Jacksonville [letter]In October, I began promoting myself around Jacksonville and got serious about finding opportunities in the area.

In November, I had my first art show and sold record numbers of original pieces and prints.

In December, I further improved my system for prints and statements, figured out the logistics for publication of my first book, and achieved such tremendous financial stability that I took Heather out to eat burritos and it’s not even her birthday.

 

Note to Self or: A Pile of Red Boxes Dances Along to the Raging Spiritual and Moral Conflicts That Rattle His (Presumably) Cardboard Bones [image]

 

 

This was the best year of my life. I worked really hard so I’m not gonna give all the credit away but there were a lot of people that helped. Other people make a difference in my life every day. If you bought artwork from me, if you sent me an email about something that affected you, or if you just “liked” some of my work on Facebook… I’ve had days where any one of those things was enough to make all the difference. I’ve got support coming at me from a million directions and… thank you.

—–

If you’re curious, here’s what Facebook says was a big deal in 2013: Sammy thrashLife’s Year in Review.

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